


Take a Hike

by VKDrabs (valorikei)



Series: RusAme NSFW Drabbles [48]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Appreciate me and my efforts, Attempt at Humor, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Car Sex, Fight Sex, Forest Sex, Gun Kink, Gun Violence, Hitchhiking, I dunno it's good, Knifeplay, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, NO DEATH, Serial Killers, Sex on a Car, Smut, Stabbing, VK Drabs, Violence, title says it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:56:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8286632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valorikei/pseuds/VKDrabs
Summary: Drabble #116: Pairing Order: RusAme / Rating: M / Prompt: Serial killer Ivan who picks up hitchhiking victims picks up hitchhiking serial killer Alfred / Warning: Contains violence, blood, mild gore aspects





	

Lampposts zipped by one by one, their dingy orange glow oscillating in waves between stages of darkness and illumination, the highway lit up by both them and the scattered handful of other midnight cars cruising down its slowly winding path. Ivan's hands wringed the leather of his steering wheel as he adjusted his direction only when needed, eyes constantly scanning the outer rims of his peripherals for any glimpse of opportunity.

This work was dirty work, that's for sure, but it both eased his stress and calmed his mind to find blissful sanctuary and release in the darkness of the isolated woods. Boiling hot remembrances tickled the back of his mind as he recalled previous escapades into the abyss, the sounds of crunchy dead leaves and stressed laughter followed soon after by cries and then peaceful silence echoing in the recesses of his memory. Smiling to himself with quiet anticipation, Ivan drove onwards until the flash of an extended limb with a clenched fist and raised thumb contorted his lips into a barely controllable expression of immense glee.

The car rolled to a meticulous stop, the stranger bounding up to the very edge of the curb as the window slid down enough to have a conversation. "Where are you heading?" Ivan questioned as he leaned over into the passenger seat's space, reigning his face back into easy-going neutrality as he studied the man peering into his vehicle. A blond, with dazzling blue eyes and a splattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose. Minus the glasses, he was just Ivan's type.

"Just towards Marion County, if that's okay?" the man replied in a husky, almost nasally voice. Ivan gave his shabby appearance another once over before smiling sweetly, nodding and unlocking the car door. The man cracked a grin and finally pulled his hands out of his jeans pockets, flinging the door open and sliding into the seat. Ivan rolled up the window and glanced over his shoulder, checking his blind spots for witnesses before pulling back onto the main road. "Hey, thanks for picking me up, Mister. I was afraid I was gunna have to spend the night out in the cold."

"Oh, 'is my pleasure," Ivan thrummed out with a happy tone, patiently working the material of his steering wheel so that idle hands couldn't rush into idle pastimes too soon. The blond's gaze remained locked on Ivan for a long minute, but the driver had long since gotten used to being studied by his evening guests of honor. Focusing on maintaining his steady breath, Ivan eventually glanced over at his passenger, wanting to get a better look at him while they were still under the street lights. "What brings you this way?"

The stranger shrugged, breaking his solo staring contest before Ivan could meet his gaze, instead turning to show off the pretty nape of his neck from where it sloped up out of his baggy red sweatshirt. "Oh, you know. Visiting the family that cut me off years ago, getting kicked off the last bus when they found I hadn't actually bought my ticket… Just the usual bullshit, huh?" he smirked, whipping his head around to find Ivan's eyes back on the road.

"Ah, yes. The usual," Ivan hummed in agreement, using his blinker to merge out of the way of a faster car. The blond next to him snorted in what might have been either irritance or amusement, before Ivan watched him slouch against the car door with his elbow keeping his head propped up.

"You do this a lot then, Mister? Let total strangers into your car willy-nilly?"

"Nyet, not all strangers," Ivan smiled, and then couldn't stop the mirthful giggle that bubbled up his throat, his knuckles a stark white against the black leather of the wheel. He tucked his chin into the loop of his favorite scarf, hiding his smile as he looked onwards at the road, making sure it was clear before letting his gaze shift to the unsuspecting man riding in his car. "Just the pretty ones."

A delightful laugh echoed his own as the blond tossed his head back, his eyelids screwed shut with amusement as he guffawed loudly and without shame. "Oh, _man_! That's rich, Mister. Real rich," the man eventually melted into unrelenting chuckles, needing a couple of moments to cough them down. Emboldened, Ivan rolled his shoulders back and straightened in his seat, all smiles and eager excitement.

"What about you? You get in strange cars with strange men, 'willy-nilly,' too?" he teased, the blond pursing his lips into a sly, almost coy smirk.

"Nah. I only get in the cars driven by pretty men," he replied casually enough, and Ivan realized how handsome and alluringly dark his companion's eyelashes were as they fluttered in his direction. Thoroughly pleased and very much flattered, Ivan determined for sure just what exactly his partner really was doing out this late at night.

They remained in comfortable, mutual silence for about a mile, Ivan's heart racing in time with the lampposts speeding past them, the blond at his side smiling as he watched them pass before eventually opening his mouth again. "Actually, I lied. I only get in the cars driven by rich men," he hummed, leaving his confession to hang in the air before shiftily glancing out the corner of his eye to his chauffeur. Ivan snorted, glad to finally jump into the bush instead of continuing their game of cat and mouse around it.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. They tend to be a bit more generous to poor drifters like me," the blond sighed with dramatized woe, his sorrowful pity party soiled by his daring and ever-present grin. Ivan scoffed somewhat, but new it was mostly in jest and definitely for fun. "How 'bout it, Mister? Spare a penny for a lost little puppy?"

"That depends," Ivan replied cooly, already pulling up towards the shoulder of the road, waiting for a nicely secluded patch of forest to stop in. The man chuckled next to him, waiting for his driver to continue speaking. "What's in it for me?"

"Depends," the cheeky blond purred, and Ivan shivered at the soft hand suddenly resting on his forearm, the pretty man leaning his pretty face into Ivan's ear, his breath hot against his boiling skin. "How much are you offering?"

[-]

"Ohhhh, fuck-!" the blond in Ivan's arms grunted with excitement as they nearly toppled out of the car, the driver having carelessly driven it off the main road and just a little ways towards the tree line, the doors left wide open in their desperate scramble out. Ivan grabbed at his prey, pawing at his clothes and gripping him all over with desperate force, extremely pleased to feel the other man do the same for him. Neither seemed to mind just how much they tripped over each other, Ivan going straight for his partner's lips as the other man yanked Ivan's belt free. Given a bit more mobility now, Ivan shoved the other against a tree and pinned him there, grinding a knee between the other man's legs until he choked up a gasp. "W-wait! I don't even know who's name I gotta scream in a minute…"

"Ivan," came the hissed reply, before he slipped his hands up the blond's shirt to fondle his chest, the shorter man shivering with delight and sticking his own hand down Ivan's pants.

"I'm Alfred, but you can call me anything you like, Ivan…" the blond, Alfred, purred seductively, eyelids hooded and lips pulled aside in a devilish smirk, his hand connecting with Ivan's erection. Ivan chuckled and tweaking one of Alfred's nipples in response, the two of them smirking at each other as they both felt the other up, Ivan soon leaning in to breathe hotly against Alfred's neck. Alfred rolled his head aside to give him more room to work, gladly squeezing and stroking the dick in his hand with surprising skill and dexterity. "Damn, mister, you just go right in for it, don't you?"

"You say that as if you want me to slow down," Ivan chuckled, Alfred shivering with delight before shoving against him, startling Ivan and making him take a surprised step back. Leering coyly, Alfred strut up into Ivan's space and grabbed him low around the waist, pressing their chests together.

"Nah, never. But… you got any lube, or should I just blow you?" Alfred hummed, getting a bit down to business. Ivan relented, moving back to his car to rummage through the glovebox, finding his stash of condoms and lubricant he always kept stocked. He selected a small bottle and a little packet, at this point also grabbing his large knife. He slipped it into the special pocket he had sewn into his jacket, glancing up at Alfred to see the blond's back facing him, the man looking up at the trees with arms akimbo and his weight slouched to one side. He could end this now, ram it in from behind and listen to Alfred gurgle and choke on his own blood… Or, maybe he could contain himself and have a little bit of cooperation getting inside before ripping Alfred inside out.

"Here it is," Ivan hummed, smiling sweetly when Alfred glanced back over his shoulder at him. Smirking and looking thoroughly pleased, Alfred unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, tugging them down and forcing the jean material over his shoes. Ivan grinned at him, taking a short moment to glance at where Alfred discarded his clothes so he would know where any potential evidence would be left. This was it!

"C'mere, mister," Alfred laughed and suddenly grabbed both of Ivan's wrists, yanking back sharply and forcing their bodies together with startling strength. Ivan fumbled over the space between them and gladly collided with Alfred, the two falling hard on the forest floor, neither of them caring much about the impact and instead focusing entirely on each other. A hand found Ivan's briefs, Alfred looking thoroughly pleased to earn a sharp gasp from the man hovering over him. "Shit, you're so big… I can't wait to shove you in my ass."

"Then don't," Ivan purred over him and chomped down on Alfred's neck, gripping his legs and spreading them apart, grinding between those plush and muscular thighs. Alfred gasped breathlessly, following the throaty noise with an excited chuckle, jerking his hand back and forth quickly. Not that it was difficult to get Ivan to rise to the occasion.

Alfred barely felt the fingers sliding in his ass until Ivan pulled them out, biting down on his lower lip and staring intently at Ivan rolling the condom down his girthy length. He laid back and got as comfortable as he could on the forest floor, glancing at his pants for a moment as Ivan carefully lined up, the edges of his coat hanging like a blanket around them both.

"Go for it," he encouraged, grinning and throwing a hand over Ivan's shoulder, gripping him for leverage as the man over him thrust forward, meeting only a little bit of resistance before sliding in in a smooth, quick jerk. Alfred let out a gaspy yelp and angled his head back into the dirt, the pressure of having something so thick moving inside him was just-! "F-fuck-!"

"Don't be afraid to be loud," Ivan growled hotly over Alfred's face, a twisted, creepy smile obscenely stretching his lips. He moved a hand to Alfred's throat and squeezed the sides of it, choking Alfred in a non-lethal way, to start. Their skin slapped whenever Ivan thrust himself forward, Alfred mewling lewdly and with much enthusiasm every time Ivan jostled him just right, their conjoined grunts echoing in the forest around them.

Sensing Alfred's growing pleasure, Ivan gripped his neck tighter, and tighter, the man under him starting to thrash and scrabble at his sides desperately, his dopey smile proof enough for Ivan that Alfred was loving every second of being roughed up. Of course, that only made things even better for Ivan.

"F-fuck-!" Alfred wheezed out desperately, choking on his word and rocking his body down hard onto Ivan's cock, forcing his eyes open so he could watch his lover for the night. Ivan smirked down at him, sitting up a little to reach into his coat as Alfred desperately shouted, "I-I'm gunna cum!"

"Then do it," Ivan purred with immense satisfaction, gripping the handle of his knife as he continued pounding away, counting down the thrusts to his completion in his head, the anticipation mounting in his belly as he could just picture Alfred's blood-streaked face of pleasure…

"I-Ivan!" Alfred finally let out the shout, Ivan laughing madly as he whipped his knife from his coat. He rushed Alfred with it, the resounding bang startling whatever wildlife had been close to them. Wait, bang?

Ivan let out a startled exclamation as Alfred shouted as well, Ivan's knife embedded deep into his gut… Alfred's small pistol still smoking from where he held it poised. The Russian man recoiled at the realization that he had been shot, by none other than the man he had tried to stab. Alfred stared at him in a wide-eyed moment of pause before shoving Ivan away in a moment of panicked frenzy.

"Y-you shot me!" Ivan shouted accusingly as Alfred scrambled out from underneath him, his gut gushing with hot blood as he yanked the knife out, throwing it aside.

" _You_ fucking stabbed me!" Alfred shouted right back and then lunged, but Ivan was poised and ready, catching the hand with the gun and smacking it aside, throwing Alfred off balance and making them both roll.

"You think I would let you kill me?" Ivan spat at him, wrestling for control of the gun as Alfred went all in, teeth bared and jaw snapping as he did whatever he could to get Ivan off, both of them equally injured. "Hold still!"

"Dream on, fucker!" Alfred hollered back, completely abandoning his previous flirty attitude to guarantee his own survival. He squeezed down on the trigger when he almost had Ivan in shot, cursing valiantly when it misfired into the trees. "I'll fucking kill you!"

Ivan gave up on the gun when he realized Alfred didn't have much control on it, shoving the other man aside and making a scrabble for his gun, barely even realizing how limp one of his arms was as blood poured from his shoulder. He just had to kill the other one first! He snatched his knife from the ground and whirled back to Alfred, realizing he was staring down the barrel of his gun. A cold sweat froze him solid, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what he should do. Run away? Run forward? Try to rationalize with him? But Ivan didn't get a chance to think, Alfred snarling venomously at him.

"Say your fucking prayers," the man growled, and then squeezed the trigger-

_Click!_

Ivan blinked at the soft noise, Alfred's glare dissolving in a second.

_Click!_ He squeezed the trigger again, again, Ivan laughing wildly as he realized what happened. "Fuck!" Alfred shouted at his gun. The damned thing had jammed! "Fine, we'll just do this the old fashioned way!"

Alfred rushed forward right at the same time Ivan did, the blond man dodging Ivan's first swing with the knife and catching his arm, holding it with a death grip before trying to elbow Ivan in the face. They grunted and struggled, shoving and pushing at each other, Alfred's shirt staining bright red as Ivan strained to not yell out in pain with every movement.

"I'll make you submit," Ivan snarled, realizing he had a small advantage over his opponent. Or so he thought, until Alfred jabbed at his eyes and managed to get a good hit, his blunted nails digging into Ivan's eyes and making him shout. The knife fell and clattered off somewhere, Alfred snatching it from the ground as Ivan covered his eyes with a yell, cursing in heated Russian.

"You're as good as dead, asshole!" Alfred hollered at him and stumbled to the car, gritting his teeth and knowing he'd have a better chance of survival if he get the hell out of there instead of trying to deal with Ivan. Shit, just his luck! He had been hoping to have a pleasant night of fucking around and earning a pretty kill, but this douchebag just had to be-

"Not finished yet," Ivan snarled, suddenly behind Alfred again. Alfred squealed like a trapped pig as Ivan's hands suddenly grabbed him around his middle in a ferocious bear hug, yanking him off the ground as Alfred shouted and thrashed.

"Back the fuck off!" Alfred screamed at him, kicking and wriggling as much as possible to break free, Ivan's grip on him impossibly tight. "You fucking lost! I'll kill you!"

"Shut your mouth!" Ivan snapped, carrying his struggling prey over to the car as Alfred insisted on making things difficult for him, subtly changing his grip on the knife before stabbing backwards as best as he was able, managing to lodge the blade into Ivan's upper thigh. The man behind him grunted but bit his shout down hard, slamming Alfred over the hood of his car and pinning him there.

"Get off me, you fat fuck!" Alfred shouted and wriggled harder, their bodies grinding together as blood smeared across the top, Ivan forcing Alfred to smush himself flat to the hood.

"Behave," Ivan spat, trying to maintain his grip. His shoulder and leg both screamed in agony, but he held Alfred down with a determined grip, struggling to keep him in place. The man under him of course refused to cooperate, and with sick fascination, Ivan realized just where their bodies connected with each little twitch and spasm. Alfred still after a moment, coming to the same realization.

"Ew, fuck! You're getting hard again?" Alfred hissed, throwing a mean look over his shoulder as Ivan flattened himself to Alfred's back, fitting his body to the backside of Alfred's bare legs. The blond trembled somewhat, feeling a little woozy and… well, shit.

That _was_ kinda hot… Almost getting off, almost killing a new victim, almost getting killed by his almost victim, his almost-killer almost-victim getting hot and bothered over not killing him….

Shit.

"Maybe we can figure something out," Ivan said after a moment, wincing when Alfred glanced over his shoulder again, a sheepish, almost embarrassed look on his face. They stared at each other, before Ivan gripped Alfred arm and yanked on it hard, forcefully flipping the blond over. Alfred let out a soft yelp as his gut continued to gush, his cheeks both flushed and pale as Ivan made him scoot further up on the hood, his hand finding the small of Alfred's back as the other, more-limp hand braced his weight against the car.

"Y-yeah, I…. I'm pretty reasonable that way," Alfred mumbled, the smell of blood finally starting to get to him like it always did. Shit, fuck- this man was dangerous! But, so was he, right? They beth knew it, and they both knew the other knew it. So, what was the harm?

"Maybe we should team up," Ivan purred as the car squeaked and bounced under them, Alfred clutching his back desperately, speared on his cock and moaning softly in his ear. Those blunt nails dug harder into his back, a strained and breathy laugh ghosting across Ivan's flesh.

"You better drive me to a damn hospital first, mister, or I don't think either of us will even have a chance to get another one in…" 

**Author's Note:**

> k but that title tho


End file.
